Introduction
Understanding how to say forget in Portuguese can be confusing because there are two common forms: esquecer and esquecer-se. Both relate to forgetting, but they follow different grammar patterns and change meaning in subtle ways. This article explains when to use each form, shows clear conjugations and examples in Brazilian Portuguese, and highlights common mistakes English-speaking learners make.
Basic meanings: esquecer vs esquecer-se
Esquecer by itself is a transitive verb that usually needs a direct object: something or someone that is forgotten. For example, when you forget keys or a name, you use esquecer with the object after it.
Esquecer-se is the pronominal form and often emphasizes the action happening to the subject, or focuses on forgetting intransitively. It can also carry reflexive or impersonal nuances. In many contexts the two forms are interchangeable, but grammar and word order influence which one is more natural.
Transitive and pronominal verbs: step-by-step
Step 1: Determine if there is a direct object. If you say I forgot the book, you have a direct object (the book). Use esquecer plus the object: Eu esqueci o livro.
Step 2: If you want to say I forgot (no object specified) or to emphasize that the forgetting happened to you, use esquecer-se: Eu me esqueci. This form is common when the object is implied or unimportant.
Step 3: Remember pronoun placement rules in Brazilian Portuguese: in affirmative sentences the reflexive pronoun usually comes before the verb when the verb is conjugated. In spoken Brazilian Portuguese, clitic placement can be flexible, but standard grammar uses me/esqueci → Eu me esqueci.
When to use esquecer + direct object
Use esquecer with a direct object when naming the thing or person forgotten. This is the most straightforward pattern and mirrors English structure.
Examples:
Eu esqueci as chaves em casa.
Maria esqueceu o nome dele.
Eles esqueceram o compromisso.
Note how the object follows the verb directly. This structure is clear and precise when the forgotten item is specified.
When to use esquecer-se (pronominal)
Use esquecer-se when the focus is on the act of forgetting itself, when the object is omitted, or when the verb behaves reflexively. This form often appears with past participles in compound tenses or with impersonal expressions.
Examples:
Eu me esqueci de ligar para minha mãe.
Ela se esqueceu do aniversário.
Nós nos esquecemos de comprar leite.
Notice the preposition de often appears after the pronominal verb to introduce the omitted or indirect object: esquecer-se de algo. This is a key pattern: esquecer-se de + noun or infinitive.
Using esquecer-se de + noun or infinitive
When using esquecer-se, you frequently see de before the forgotten item or action. This is different from the plain transitive use of esquecer, which does not require de.
Comparison:
Eu esqueci o livro. (transitive, no de)
Eu me esqueci do livro. (pronominal, com de)
Both sentences are correct and mean essentially the same thing, but the pronominal version includes the reflexive pronoun and the preposition de. In spoken Brazilian Portuguese, the pronominal form with de is extremely common.
Verbal conjugation: common tenses
Below are useful conjugations for both forms in present, past perfect (pretérito perfeito), and the present continuous where relevant. For clarity, reflexive pronouns are shown with esquecer-se.
Present (Presente):
Eu esqueço / Eu me esqueço
Tu esqueces / Tu te esqueces
Ele/ela esquece / Ele/ela se esquece
Nós esquecemos / Nós nos esquecemos
Vocês esquecem / Vocês se esquecem
Pretérito Perfeito (complete past):
Eu esqueci / Eu me esqueci
Tu esqueceste / Tu te esqueceste
Ele/ela esqueceu / Ele/ela se esqueceu
Nós esquecemos / Nós nos esquecemos
Vocês esqueceram / Vocês se esqueceram
Present Continuous (Gerúndio):
Eu estou esquecendo / Eu estou me esquecendo
Ela está esquecendo / Ela está se esquecendo
Word order and pronoun placement
In Brazilian Portuguese, pronoun placement tends to prefer proclisis (pronoun before the verb) in most spoken and many written contexts when negatives, adverbs, subordinate clauses, or the subject are present. That makes Eu me esqueci the norm. However, in affirmative main clauses, especially in formal European Portuguese, enclisis (esqueci-me) can appear. For learners focusing on Brazilian Portuguese, stick with Eu me esqueci.
Examples illustrating proclisis in common sentence types:
Eu me esqueci de avisar você.
Não me esqueci do compromisso.
Hoje me esqueci completamente do prazo.
More examples with common verbs and expressions
Using esquecer with people and names:
Ele esqueceu minha irmã.
Eu esqueci o nome dela.
Using esquecer-se to show omission or forgetfulness:
Desculpe, eu me esqueci de enviar o e-mail.
Ela se esqueceu de apagar as luzes.
With infinitives (forgetting to do something):
Eu esqueci de ligar para você. (pronominal common)
Ele esqueceu de comprar pão. (both forms used, but pronominal with de is frequent)
Subtle differences in nuance
While both forms often overlap, there are nuance differences to be aware of. Esquecer without the pronoun tends to be more direct and object-focused. Esquecer-se can carry a slightly more personal or accidental tone, as if the forgetting happened to the speaker.
Consider these pairs:
Eu esqueci o documento. (neutral, straightforward)
Eu me esqueci do documento. (emphasizes that it slipped my mind)
In many situations native speakers choose the pronominal form because it feels more natural in everyday speech, especially when using the preposition de.
Negative forms and questions
In negative sentences the pronoun stays before the verb in Brazilian Portuguese, and de remains with esquecer-se. Questions also obey the same structure.
Examples:
Eu não me esqueci do seu presente.
Você se esqueceu do horário?
Eles não esqueceram o endereço?
Common mistakes and how to avoid them
Mistake 1: Omitting de with the pronominal form. Many learners try to say Eu me esqueci o livro. Standard Brazilian Portuguese uses Eu me esqueci do livro or Eu esqueci o livro.
Mistake 2: Wrong pronoun placement for Brazilian Portuguese. Saying Esqueci-me is grammatical but sounds formal or European. Prefer Eu me esqueci.
Mistake 3: Confusing direct and indirect objects. If you name the object directly, use esquecer without de. If you use the pronominal form, add de before the object or infinitive.
Usage notes and regional preferences
In Brazil, the pronominal form esquecer-se with de is extremely common in spoken Portuguese. Formal writing may accept both forms, but newspaper and literature often use the transitive pattern depending on style. In European Portuguese, enclisis like esqueceu-se is more frequent, especially in formal contexts. As a learner, adapt to the Brazilian pattern Eu me esqueci and Eu esqueci when speaking with Brazilian natives.
Examples in short dialogues
Dialogue 1:
Amigo: Você trouxe a carteira?
Você: Não, eu me esqueci da carteira em casa.
Dialogue 2:
Colega: Você enviou o relatório?
Você: Esqueci o relatório. Vou enviar agora.
Dialogue 3:
Parente: Lembra do aniversário da tia?
Você: Ai não, eu me esqueci. Preciso ligar.
Related verbs and alternatives
Other verbs can express forgetting with slightly different tone. For example lembrar means to remember and podes usar lembrar-se to emphasize recall: Eu não me lembro means I do not remember. Perder can imply misplacing something, not forgetting: Eu perdi as chaves means I lost the keys. Choosing the correct verb helps clarify whether something was forgotten mentally or physically misplaced.
Practical tips for learners
Tip 1: Learn the pattern with de for the pronominal form: esquecer-se de algo. It will save confusion and sound natural in Brazil.
Tip 2: Practice both forms in context. Use Eu esqueci o livro for direct objects, and Eu me esqueci do livro when you want the reflexive tone.
Tip 3: Listen to Brazilian podcasts, TV shows, and conversations to internalize the preferred forms and pronoun placement used by native speakers.
Conclusion
Both esquecer and esquecer-se are correct ways to talk about forgetting, but they follow different grammatical patterns. Use esquecer with a direct object and esquecer-se with de when the act of forgetting is emphasized or the object is implied. For Brazilian Portuguese, Eu me esqueci and Eu esqueci are the most natural choices. Understanding these differences will make your speech clearer and more idiomatic.
